A major point of interest to me is actually the way the show feels when taken at the completion of the books, especially if you were reading them as they were coming out and have aged into an actual adult in the interim. As a kid, and especially as an abused kid, there was something very helpful and very arming in having a story say “things might not even get better but you can survive. Over and over and over again, the world will be scary and confusing and you won’t have the answers but you’ll survive and you’ll find the smallest safe moments that make things worth it.” That was very, very useful knowledge to a child. That genuinely helped me survive.
But now, as an adult? There’s something very. I don’t know. When I was a kid, I assumed all those mysteries were beyond comprehension, or more convoluted than could be easily explained. Now that I’m an adult, I watch this and all these mysteries are explained and truths revealed and none of them were as complicated or strange as I might have expected. Things are simpler than me as a child imagined. That just… seems right. You grow up, and things you thought were complicated are actually more simple than they seemed, and somehow, that simplicity can be worse, because that’s how the world works. Sometimes, horrible things happen over squabbles that shouldn’t have blown up the way they did. Esme wanted to keep her sugar bowl because she’s petty and that thing belonged to her. It blew up because people are… people. I’m not sure I would have understood that then.
I think, when you’re a kid, a bleak or ambiguous ending seems sort of powerful, because you’re a kid, and you’re used to reading stories where everything is okay in the end, but kids sometimes need to know that that isn’t how the story goes. As an adult? I need to be reminded, often, that the world isn’t as bleak as I think it is, that sometimes there are happy endings, that sometimes things break down just because people are simple and petty and human. I need to be reminded that people find their way home, that broken pieces and come together to make something new and whole.
I don’t know. I think that the show simplified some of the things the kids faced and decisions and mistakes a bit, and I wish they hadn’t done that. But as a long time viewer, and someone who grew from childhood to adulthood in the interim, there is something about the show that feels like completion. We still don’t have all the answers. Probably won’t ever. I firmly believe that the show and the books are meant to be taken as companion stories where neither has the whole truth and both have some things wrong, but as far as themes go, the show feels to me like an excellent capping to the story, and just another pointer to the cyclical nature of most things. That being said, though, you can always muster a chapter 14 in a story that’s otherwise been unlucky, and that’s part of the cycle, too. Maybe one day we’ll get another telling of this story, made for another time and a different group of people and we’ll glimpse more of the truth in the muddy reality of the story being told. Still not all of it, of course, but some.
I’m just satisfied. This was the story I needed now, at this point in my life. The books were the story I needed then. I’m incredibly thankful for both of them. I’ll always have things to nitpick about both, but that’s just life. It’s all gonna be okay, whatever the case.